Quail

~ Claude Limehouse ~ Leave a comment

On February 12, 2006 it was reported that the Vice President of the United States at the time had accidentally shot a fellow hunter in the face, neck and chest while quail hunting in Texas.

VP Dick Cheney was zeroed in on a flying quail. Following it in his sights, moving with the bird, he fired and caught a friend of his with a bunch of buckshot. Fortunately for all, the wounds were not life threatening.

Now as terrible as that sounds, it begs some thoughts and questions. First of all, …. a quail? Wait…. a quail? That is the hunt of the day?

Here’s the scenario. Three 70 year old men out looking for quail. Not Dan, but the cute little bird. One of the men is the Vice President with a heart condition. This means that policy dictates that he is followed on this adventure by – at least – three doctors and two ambulances plus, of course, a posse of Secret Service personnel.

So visualize the scene. The VP, two other old guys, three doctors, two ambulances and a shitload of armed Secret Service people trudging across the Texas tundra in search of the dreaded quail. Again, not Dan.

Let’s not forget that at that same time, there were thousands of American soldiers in Afghanistan, Iraq and Kuwait doing essentially the same thing except they were hunting the Taliban and Al Queda. Oh, they didn’t have the doctors, ambulances and Secret Service yet they are hunting things that shoot back.

The Texas friendly fire incident must have been one of the most ridiculous scenes imaginable. But wait, a few more questions…

Should a person with a known heart condition to the point of needing all of those medical personnel even be handling a gun or even have a license? Oh, excuse me, that’s his right… Second Amendment and all.

Ok then, here’s another. How much does it cost the American taxpayer to have this moron entertain his nursing home friends for a day of proving they don’t have little dicks? How much?

How much body armor and supplies could this money have provided our men and women at war?

But then again, I definitely slept more comfortably knowing our VP was keeping us safe from the dreaded quail.

#Thoughts

Solving Homicide

~ Claude Limehouse ~ Leave a comment

My wife and I love – are addicted actually – to crime shows. It used to be Court TV, then things like Forensic Files, Cold Case files… anything that involves a true murder mystery.

It has always struck me as curious how often these crimes are solved by using one of two things: A psychic or Luminol, which shows blood traces when sprayed. Sometimes, both are used to solve cases.

Why not provide every police department with a psychic and an endless supply of Luminol? It would save a lot of time, money and resources.Just a thought.

#Thoughts

Sneakers

~ Claude Limehouse ~ Leave a comment

Have you ever been walking or driving, and in the most unlikely spots, you notice a pair of sneakers hanging over a telephone line?

Who is losing all of these sneakers and losing them by the pair with their laces tied together? They often seem to be high-top Chuck Taylors, never a boating or tennis shoe.

How did they get there? Why are they there? They tend to be in the middle of nowhere or conversely ( pun intended) in the middle of a busy intersection. It’s been happening for as long as I can remember.

This is important stuff so I asked around. There were a few different theories or urban legends associated with this phenomena. The two main ones concern gangs and loss of virginity.

The first concept has to do with gangs using them to mark their territory or to note an area where people can buy drugs. I may be a bit slow but if that’s the case, wouldn’t the police also know?

The second theory – to highlight a place where someone lost their virginity – is also tough to swallow (again, pun intended). The middle of a busy intersection? Really?

Here’s my take. It is a message from the beyond. We just aren’t paying attention. Someone or something is using the universal sign of harmony, the sneaker, to communicate. Hey…. it makes as much sense.

So the next time you see a pair of hanging sneakers on the phone lines, look around…. ya never know.

#Thoughts

#sneakers

Hotel Bathrooms

~ Claude Limehouse ~ Leave a comment

I went through periods of time in my work life when I did a lot of traveling. Thus, I stayed in many hotels. I was always amazed by the time and effort that was put into the hotel bathroom experience.

Many of the changes along the way made sense. Things like the hair blower, shampoo, conditioner, lotion and mouthwash was great. Travelers no longer had to pack these items. Good job!

Here’s the thing that I always questioned… the tub itself. Are there a lot of people, especially the business crowd, going to hotels and taking baths?

“ Hey Bobby…. that was a helluva meeting. Whatta ya say we stop at the hotel bar for a cold one before dinner?”

“No thanks, Hank. I’ll have to take a rain check this time. I’m gonna settle in for a nice hot bath in my room.”

I don’t know about you but I can pretty much guarantee that the only part of my body that will be touching the tub floor are the soles of my feet. In fact, if I could hover, I would. I don’t care how clean the place is.

One time, a hotel I was at had a rather unique tub with sloped ends for laying back if you wanted to… as if it were a hot tub but it wasn’t. It also had a seat platform and two other smaller platforms/shelves nearly head high. Almost as if you could do the ole’ back somersault with a half twist of you were in the mood.

What else could you be using it for? A place to leave the finger-sized bottle of shampoo? So, here you have this sloping tub – great if you brought your skateboard – and the diving platforms yet the shower head is at shoulder height.

No kidding! You turn on the shower – once you figure out that sundial on/off mechanism – and you literally have to bend down to get your hair wet. I felt like Quasimodo washing my hair.

The big question is, who is doing the buying when this place was designed? Who is looking at this set-up saying, “ Perfect! Give me 300 of these but only if you throw in the retractable fishline laundry hanger with each one. “

I would also think that in terms of the bathroom “giveaway” items, there are much more useful items than a shower cap and shoe mitt. There is a shower that can’t get your hair wet yet you get a shower cap. Go figure.

#Thoughts

#bathrooms, #hotels, #random